But Mr. Boone's voice sounded calm. “Joann's father is not only on the Board（董事会），he owns the only store in town: we could say it was a close tie and…”

Shaking and sad，I，waited a few minutes and walked away.

The next day when the principal called me into his office. “Martha，"he said，"There's been a change in policy this year regarding the scholarship jacket. This，year the Board has decided to charge fifteen dollars，which still won't cover the complete cost of the jacket. So if you are unable to pay the money for the jacket，it will be given to the next one in line.”

Standing with all the dignity I could find，I said，I'll speak to my grandfather about it，sir，and let you know tomorrow.” I cried on the way home.

Paragraph 1

By the time I got home, my eyes were red and swollen. I found my grandpa in the bean field.

Paragraph 2

I dragged into the principal’s office the next day, sad and disappointed.

思维指导

无论什么读后续写，哪怕再难写，只要认真分析，都会找到线索。

1.定characters: 本文的角色比较多的：

物：a beautiful gold and green jacket

实际上，主要人物最多两个，剩下的都是次要人物，次要人物最多出现在续写一次，甚至一次也不要出现。Joann就是一笔带过的人物，最好不要在续写中出现。

2.定conflict：how can I get the jacket?

3.定clues：

My school had a tradition during the ninth-grade graduation:

I had been a straight A

This scholarship jacket was my only chance.

I won't lie or falsity（伪造）records.

There's been a change in policy

Standing with all the dignity I could find，I said

线索没有固定的，只能靠你的阅读感受，一般而言：主观评价、心情、事实陈述等都可以。我们还要牢记：部分线索应该在结尾重复出现。只有这样的作文才会很精致。

4.定solution和theme

Solution很多时候就是theme了，此时要结合所给的提示句：

第一句说回家找grandpa，第二句说我回到校长办公室的失望。

首先一定要明确：高考作文的主题一定是positive的，弘扬真善美。

结果只有两种：I got the jacket finally. I failed to get it.

用高考的标准只能是：我不仅拿到了奖品，而且还光明正大的。这凸显了社会的公平和学校的纯洁。

但很多同学都写成最后付钱拿到了奖品。这就如同默认了用钱买的行为规则，而且还鼓励了金钱至上的不良风气。无论是谁替“我”付钱了，无论多么让人感动，都不能掩盖这点。

问题就是：我走进了校长办公室后，如何没有付钱拿到？

结果只有一种：校长良心发现，决定维护原则。

有人会说这有点不太符合社会现实，但文学作品包括影视作品无不如此，最终都是好人平安，坏人得到了惩罚。这就是好莱坞影视底线。

至于校长如何良心发现，这就需要你的想象了。可以间接（经过和历史老师讨论或者外力要求），也可以直接描述（被我的情况打动，直接认错）。

主题就是历史老师的话加上我的：为了尊严，成绩是不能伪造的，用钱购买的奖励不叫奖励。

问几个问题：

How did grandpa ask me for reasons?

What did I say to him?

How did my grandpa respond to my answer? (his feelings, his reply)

How did I feel after hearing my grandpa’s words?

这四个问题基本围绕：grandpa和我的互动。

How did I feel when I entered the office?

How did say to the principal?

How did the principal change his mind?

How did I feel?

这四个问题围绕我和校长的互动。

中间也可能有场景描写：譬如农田里的祖父的艰苦；拿到奖品后的环境描写。

5.要不要抖包袱？

文章本身就自带包袱：我到底如何在不拿钱的情况下获得奖品。如果要抖包袱，也要体现这个主题。

我的下水文：

Paragraph 1

By the time I got home, my eyes were red and swollen. I found my grandpa in the bean field.

1. Sensing something wrong, he asked me what happened with great concern.

(承接上文的grandpa，见到我如此模样，自然要问，但不要写成具体对话，要学会把对话浓缩。只要是说话，都要学会加上附加修饰，我用的是：with concern，下面还有更多的)

2. I murmured the principal’s words, a surge of regret gnawing at my heart.

（同样把对话具体内容给简化，当然也可以不用，主要根据词数和需要来定。这里我用独立主格结构来修饰说话的动作，修饰部分不要太多，以避免喧宾夺主。这个句子也可以是： my finger nails dug deep into the hand.请同学们看附加讲义的各种后悔描写。）

3. I really hated to see my gray-haired Grandpa’s disappointment.

（说明我什么regret，因为我很孝顺，怕看到祖父的失望。有人写没有说，也可以的。）

4. Grandpa’s eyes rounded in disbelief.

（写grandpa的惊讶，in disbelief修饰动作）

5. Time ticking by, he heaved a long sigh, “My child, an award bought can’t be called an award.”

（grandpa久久无语，很久后叹了口气。这里对话出来了，每段一两句对话是有必要的。而且这句非常精彩，这是 五班吕少鹏同学想出来的。有些同学因为 theme偏了，导致写祖父决定帮助我实现愿望，不仅仅大大增加了篇幅，而且很啰嗦。）

6. I nodded understandingly.

（我的反应，understandingly修饰动作nod，对比上面的介词短语修饰。很短小，上句很长，写作讲究长短结合，有节奏感，记叙文忌讳都是长句，和议论文有很大的不同。）

7.But who knew how reluctant and bitter I was?

（此为衔接句，反问句也是修辞：谁能体会我的苦衷？正好下面一句写我的失望）

Paragraph 2

I dragged into the principal’s office the next day, sad and disappointed.

1. My head still lifted with dignity, I tried to fight back the tears, stammering, “I cannot…afford the jacket, sir.”

（用独立主格写我的动作，如何表示难过？无非就是头、心和泪的描写。文末会有更多的这方面的陈述。Dignity是照应前面的线索，Stammer比say好，结结巴巴说话，一般都是太开心或太伤心。）

2. Staring into my eyes, the principal suddenly grinned, “I have good news for you.”

(开始抖包袱，为主题埋下伏笔)

3. I looked at him in confusion.

4. “The board decided that an award cannot be bought just for the sake of winners’ dignity.” His eyes brimmed with smiles.

（校长的话。这里把grandpa的话几乎重复了一遍，又照应了线索dignity，有意为之，反复也是一种修辞，但是反复的句子一定是文章的theme有关，否则是没有意思的。）

5. I pinched my hand only to find I was not dreaming.

（难以置信的高兴之情，这是经典句子）

6. Only at that moment did I believe that Mr. Schmidt and my grandpa were right: never can awards be falsified or bought.

（结尾一定要给人震撼或者美感，只有照应前文的线索才可以做到或者以景结情点明主旨。本句几乎重复了主旨线索句。）

完整的版本：

Paragraph 1

By the time I got home, my eyes were red and swollen. I found my grandpa in the bean field. Sensing something wrong, he asked me what happened with great concern. I murmured the principal’s words, a surge of regret gnawing at my heart. I really hated to see my gray-haired Grandpa’s disappointment. Grandpa’s eyes rounded in disbelief. Time ticking by, he heaved a long sigh, “My child, an award bought can’t be called an award.” I nodded understandingly. But who knew how reluctant and bitter I was?

Paragraph 2

I dragged into the principal’s office the next day, sad and disappointed. My head still lifted with dignity, I tried to fight back the tears, stammering, “I cannot…afford the jacket, sir.” Staring into my eyes, the principal suddenly grinned, “I have good news for you.” I looked at him in confusion. “The board decided that an award cannot be bought just for the sake of winners’ dignity.” His eyes brimmed with smiles. I pinched my hand only to find I was not dreaming. Only at that moment did I believe that Mr. Schmidt and my grandpa were right: never can awards be falsified or bought. (162 words) 返回搜狐，查看更多